Glitter, Boundaries & Mini Human Mayhem

So here is our Spring Break Recap, its unhinged, unbothered, glitter infested, and one minor exorcism away from full swamp witch ascension.

The Feral Glitter Goblin and I did not “take it easy.” We spiraled directly into chaotic joy and built a kingdom there. We roamed the neighborhood like feral little forest cryptids on a mission armed with scavenger hunts and vibes. Our pockets? Full of rocks, leaves, sticks, and “this one has a story, Mommy, I can feel it.” We saw flowers, spotted a bunny, and immediately went home to write that bunny into one of our chaotic literary masterpieces like the unhinged authors we are.

He then used his scavenger treasures to create a full centerpiece for the table and demanded his soda be served in a wine glass “so I can be fancy like you.” And honestly? The audacity. The elegance. The vision. I'm here for all of this.

We baked cookies aka summoned flour demons. We cooked meals. We made art. There is glitter in places I cannot legally explain. AND THEN because I am raising a capable human and also because his aim is a community concern. I taught him how to clean his own bathroom.

Let me paint the picture Rubber gloves up to his elbows, rain jacket, and galoshes. Scrubbing a toilet like a tiny warrior preparing for battle against the sins of his own aim. He was DELIGHTED and I was VINDICATED.

And before anyone clutches pearls this is not child abuse, this is life skills and natural consequences, baby. Also, this is how he earns his allowance for his games, and he worked like a tiny CEO of Cleaning Enterprises. This is teaching pride, dedication yes occasional gagging but overall growth (and maybe now his aim will improve).

We bathed the three hellhounds together. Which turned into a full contact water sport. We got soaked. They got possessed. Zoomies were unleashed. At one point I’m pretty sure I saw my life flash before my eyes as three wet demons sprinted through the house while we laughed like absolute lunatics.

He also spent time trying to train the largest hellhound “Sit, Lay down, and respect personal space.” She IMMEDIATELY body checked him for treats like a furry linebacker with zero remorse. He got up. Tried again. Resilient king.

We had a full couch rot era air mattresses in the living room, movie marathons, snacks on snacks. He fell asleep looking like the most innocent little fallen angel I’ve ever seen, and I just sat there wondering how one human can be both chaos gremlin and literal soft baby.

At one point, he serenaded me with his favorite song like a tiny emotional bard, and I almost dissolved into the floor. And the magic? It’s everywhere. In the way he gets excited about flowers. The way he turns sticks into stories.

The way he laughs from his whole soul. The way he told me very calmly that I seem happier when I’m not working so much. Oh Okay Cool. Just gonna emotionally collapse for a second.

Because he’s right.

So let’s talk about what happens next. Tomorrow, I return to work but not as the same woman. No, this version of me has boundaries so strong they could stop a charging bull and possibly a few coworkers. I will do my job and do it WELL. But I will not overextend, overexplain, or over function for people who have mastered helplessness as a personality trait.

I am retiring from my role as Emotional Support Human and Unpaid Crisis Manager. If it is not in my job description, it is not in my spirit. I will not stay late. I will not take it home. I will not let it live rent free in my brain like a raccoon with unresolved trauma. You get my time. You get my effort. You do NOT get my peace.

Because here’s the reality, My job can replace me without blinking. My family cannot. And this week? This chaotic, glitter covered, laughter filled, slightly feral week? That is what matters.

Not emails. Not stress. Not environments that drain the life out of me. Also quick note for the people in the back, when a “community” stops showing up for you, stops valuing you, stops matching your energy. That is your cue to stop auditioning for a place you’ve already outgrown.

Find your people. Protect your peace. Match energy or exit stage left.

Emotional intelligence era, but lets make it a little savage because we need to show our teeth sometimes! Staying present instead of feeling the need to prove yourself. You work is the proof and you sparkle! Setting boundaries that actually mean something and stick to it. Letting people struggle without jumping in to rescue them, don't feed into learned helplessness and toy know when they really need help don't be played. Accepting that discomfort is part of growth (for you AND for them)

And the biggest lesson? When you unplug from the noise, the truth gets LOUD. And sometimes it sounds like a tiny human, covered in glitter, drinking soda out of a wine glass, telling you exactly what matters. The Feral Glitter Goblin is the magic. And I will protect that magic with everything I have like the slightly unhinged, emotionally evolved, boundary setting swamp witch that I am.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go remove glitter from places glitter should never be.